


waiting for you as time rushes past

by minrengi



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Assassin Jeon Jungkook, Assassin Min Yoongi | Suga, M/M, Magic, Rich Kim Seokjin | Jin, Witch Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Witch Kim Taehyung | V, Witch Park Jimin (BTS), princess Haseul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 21:26:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18902956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minrengi/pseuds/minrengi
Summary: “You’re getting messy,” Jungkook says, climbing into the room from the window. They’re eleven stories up, but that hasn’t stopped Jungkook before.Yoongi just grunts. He doesn’t have much more of a reply. He isn’t sure what this man did to deserve death, not sure it really matters. Yoongi has killed good men and bad men, but the weight on his shoulders is still the same.“Be careful, hyung. I don’t want to be the one to clean up after you,” Jungkook continues, his voice serious. He’s not the kid he was when Yoongi first took him in. He’s not all eager with the stars in his eyes. “My mother always said that it was an experienced man that made the most simple mistakes.”This life has taken a lot from both of them, but at least Yoongi has the decency to act as if it bothers him. Maybe that’s worse.





	waiting for you as time rushes past

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not 100% proud of this chapter, but i know that if it was up to be i would never post it and would just go over it for eternity. My goal is to make each chapter about 7k, but the second one will probably be about 15k-20k , so who knows. 
> 
> Artist for this chapter: Altj

Above them, above everything, above Seokjin and the king and every single rat on the street, lie the stars. They give off enough light that Yoongi can only see a vague outline of the dead man in front of him. Blood covers his face, distorts the image even more. It’s better that Yoongi doesn’t know what he looks like. It makes the process easier.

“You’re getting messy,” Jungkook says, climbing into the room from the window. They’re eleven stories up, but that hasn’t stopped Jungkook before.

Yoongi just grunts. He doesn’t have much more of a reply. He isn’t sure what this man did to deserve death, not sure it really matters. Yoongi has killed good men and bad men, but the weight on his shoulders is still the same.

“Be careful, hyung. I don’t want to be the one to clean up after you,” Jungkook continues, his voice serious. He’s not the kid he was when Yoongi first took him in. He’s not all eager with the stars in his eyes. “My mother always said that it was an experienced man that made the most simple mistakes.”

This life has taken a lot from both of them, but at least Yoongi has the decency to act as if it bothers him. Maybe that’s worse.

“You couldn’t kill me if you tried, brat. I’m still better at this than you.”

Jungkook laughs, his head thrown back and his eyes squinted. The stars allow enough light to shine in through the window that Yoongi can see the subtle scar across Jungkook’s cheek from the last and only time Yoongi and Jungkook had ever fought.

The room reeks of sex and wine, making Yoongi a little nauseous. Jungkook seems to pick up on it and decides to jump down from the windowsill. His feet hit the ground with a soft thud, followed by the almost silent footsteps of him coming closer to the body. His silhouette seems to disappear the closer he gets. The whole thing feels a little too much like one of Namjoons weird philosophical stories.

“Come on. I’ll clean this up if you go get dinner started for the two of us.” Jungkook runs his hand through Yoongi’s hair. It’s selfish, how happy Yoongi is that Jungkook is here with him. Jungkook is still young, should’ve never been exposed to any of it, but Yoongi isn’t really sure he would still be around if it weren’t for Jungkook to keep him sane.

“Deal,” Yoongi replies. He knows better than to push himself when scenes get like this, when they hit a little too close to home. They both have limits, and neither of them are stupid enough to keep pushing when it gets to be too much. The few times they’ve tried have usually ended up with one of them too shaken up to do anything for weeks.

Yoongi walks to the window that Jungkook came from. He’s not as good as Jungkook when it comes to climbing, but he doesn’t plan on going up or down. He climbs so that both feet are on the windowsill with one hand on the outside of the building. He pushes off, sending himself flying over the ally and onto the next building’s roof. He drops about a story and lands with too hard of a thud not to be heard. Yoongi doesn’t stick around though. He hauls himself up and starts running across the roofs of buildings. 

The man that they murdered was a wealthy brothel owner, so his house is in the center of the city, right on the outskirts of the castle grounds. The run isn’t far and the most Yoongi has to climb is down a story or two before he finds an outside staircase. He’s lucky; usually he ends up having to jump or climb.

When he reaches the castle, he slips in through the one hole in the wall. Jungkook found it when he was discovering all of the garden paths and they decided that it would be the perfect way to go in and out of the castle without being noticed. 

The gardens are Jungkook’s favorite part of living in a castle. When they were brought in together, both just skinny kids who had seen too much, done too much, Jungkook would spend hours there. 

Coming to the castle was the best decision. They would have died on the streets. They’ll die here, too, but at least inside the castle Jungkook gets to smile. There’s food and comfortable beds and baths. It’s hard to not want to spend forever inside the castle walls. It’s easy to forget what got them here, what here really is.

Yoongi walks through the garden and into their little house. The two of them don’t live in the castle. That’s for people ranking much higher than he or Jungkook, but Yoongi prefers it this way. It’s warmer, more private. The castle halls are a little too narrow, and the king’s birds hear everything inside of them.

Their house is small, the smallest of all of the separate homes on the grounds. There’s a small table with four chairs around it for when Hoseok or Seokjin decide to visit. The kitchen sits off to the side, a variety of candles littering the counters there. Yoongi lights them all with a snap of his fingers, a trick he picked up from Jimin. Jimin is one of the two witches that the castle likes to keep on hand.

After the candles have been lit for a while, Yoongi dips his finger into the melted wax. He supposes it should burn, but it doesn’t. There’s a nagging feeling at the action, as if Jimin or Hoseok should know that Yoongi can’t burn, but he doesn’t listen.

Instead, Yoongi’s thoughts shift to how they’re running a little low on candles. Yoongi makes a mental note to remind Jungkook to pick some up the next time he goes to the market. He picks up a pot and fills it with water from the bucket they keep inside. 

He spills a little as he crosses the room. His hands are still shaking from the night’s events, but he tries to shove the reminder down. He hangs the pot over the fireplace and sets that aflame as well.

Waiting for the water to boil, Yoongi lies on the floor. It’ll still be awhile before Jungkook gets home. He has to raid the place and clean up all of the evidence before making his way back. The shaking is still there and Yoongi’s tempted to get a blanket, even though he knows he’s not cold. 

It’s not much longer before Hoseok walks through the door. Yoongi’s surprised, even though he knows he should have expected it. Hoseok has always been good about picking up on these sorts of things. He’s an empath, and Yoongi tends to forget that.

“How are you feeling, hyung?” Hoseok asks putting the rice into the boiling water before approaching the man on the floor. The bags under his eyes looks a little darker than usual. Yoongi supposes that’s how they all look. The news that has the castle stirring hasn’t fully settled in yet, but they all know what it means.

“You know how I feel, asshole,” Yoongi says, if only to lighten the mood a bit. Hoseok doesn’t laugh, but his face breaks into a small smile, and Yoongi decides that it’s good enough.

Hoseok finishes in the kitchen and joins Yoongi on the floor, pulling the elder into his arms. This has only come around recently, them feeling close enough to exist like this. In times of war, things tend to change like that.

“Was tonight really what bothered you?” 

Yoongi doesn’t reply right away. Even he doesn’t really know. Maybe it was the oncoming war or how easy everything is for Jungkook or the stench of that room. Yoongi doesn’t know, but his wrists ache and he’s so, so tired.

“ who knows,” he mumbles, voice stretched thin, “maybe it’s everything.” 

So they stay like that, curled up on the floor together. Hoseok holding Yoongi in such away that it’s as if Hoseok is shielding him from everything around them.

\--

_My Captain,_

_I am writing this to you before the battle. I know I will die. The witch told me. I do not fear death, for you have brought me much joy and I would prefer no other life. We have fought together for years, since we were kids and old enough to run along the castle gardens. We ran together, trained together, lived together. It pains me to know that we will not die beside each other when we are old._

_I wish for you to tell Jimin that I am grateful for his warning, even though he was not aware of the weight that his words held. Please tell Haseul that she will make a wonderful queen, even if we never really got along. I would have been very happy to serve under her. Tell Yoongi that his formal speech has gotten better. Tell Namjoon that Seokjin would give him the world if he so much as asked for it._

_I wish to tell you that I love you and will continue to love you long after today passes. When we come together again, I will hold you in the tight embrace that you wanted. I am sorry that I was so late coming to you. It will be my biggest regret._

_Do not race to meet me. We will be together again. Please, remember that I love you._

_Sincerely, Jongeun_

\--

Castle meetings are always a little interesting. There always seems to be a divide between the king and his men, and Haseul and the people rallying behind her. Yoongi stands with her, as does Seokjin and Namjoon and the rest of them. She’ll be a good queen, so long as the king and his men don’t kill her before she has the chance to make change for the better. A good heir to the throne is often seen as a threat by the men who benefit from a bad one. 

“War is not necessary, nor would it be the best decision for the kingdom,” Haseul says, her voice calm yet stern. “We don’t have enough warriors to take on the White Coastback. Even with support from the Southern Bank. We cannot afford to fight two wars.”

The people of Lyma are already fighting with Sina, a small kingdom just west of the capital. They also hold coastal access, but their people are strong and they have the advantage of being native to the mountains there. Lyma is nothing but flat land and the occasional river.

There is a pause in the conversation. The king looks as though he wants to lash out, but it’s still a little early in the meeting for that. 

“What do you think?” He asks to Namjoon. Namjoon is the battle specialist. While he doesn’t go out and fight the battles he plans every single one of them out. He’s good at what he does, but having an ignorant king that overrides his decisions makes Namjoon’s life rather difficult.

“We don’t even have enough men to fight the war with Sina. To start a war with the White Coast would be military suicide,” Namjoon replies.

The king has a habit of sending his warriors into a battle they won’t win. Yoongi has seen this type of ignorance before on the street, and it never ends well. Haseul is right, even if they need access to the sea, a war with the White Coast isn’t going to achieve anything. Their forces are too strong, too new. 

The King shouldn’t have lost them in the first place.

“They’re my people,” Joohyun, the king, replies. “I can do with them as I please.” He’s not referring to Lyma, but to the White Coast. 

“No. They are no longer yours. They’ve declared themselves independent. They were the wealthiest, strongest people in the kingdom and you let them fall away.” Namjoon chimes back. Haseul shoots him an appreciative glance in return. The kings hasty decisions and poor leadership had caused the White Coast to want to break away from Lyma. They did so successfully, largely because the king is an idiot and they were already fighting a war with Sina. 

Seokjin looks over to Namjoon with a little worry. He always does when Namjoon gets too snappy at the king because while Namjoon may be good at what he does, the king is known for making hasty decisions in moments of rage.

Yoongi always feels a little out of place in these meetings.

“So then, we send one of those little rats to… appease them. I’m sure they would make good company.” 

Yoongi knows that he’s talking about him and Jungkook, even though he doesn’t even spare him a glance. 

The threat sends a shiver down Yoongi’s spine. Seokjin’s eyes immediately snap from Namjoon to Yoongi and he feels like there’s too much attention being put on him all at once. The king has been trying to get rid of them since Seokjin brought them in, but Seokjin is the wealthy son of the richest family in the kingdom. In everything but title, Seokjin is more powerful than the throne.

Jungkook and Yoongi are not whores to be sold around. Seokjin has already gotten close enough to that, and if it weren’t for their friendship Yoongi would have already killed him. 

“You will do no such thing. I suggest you watch your words as well, your grace,” Seokjin threatens. The hostility in the air has grown. Yoongi feels his skin crawl and is extremely grateful that Jungkook is out in the marketplace.

“My apologies, Seokjin. It was merely a suggestion to make amends with our previous brothers and sisters,” Joohyuns words are too sweet. Yoongi doesn’t have a list of people to kill anymore, but if he did then Joohyun would be on the top of the list.

“Yoongi-chi,” Seokjin calls to him, “go wait outside.” 

Yoongi nods, and leaves the room quickly. He is grateful for the break; he felt like too many eyes were staring at him. The line between the king and his safety is a little too thin for Yoongi’s liking. 

Jimin comes down the hallway, his orange hair standing out amongst the grey of the castle walls.

“Hyung,” Jimin begins, “Jinsoul has returned.”

“With how many?”

The number of survivors will not be high, even if they sent Jinsoul. She is the captain of the guard; one of the best in history. Her and her warriors are some of the best in the kingdom, but the king didn’t send her with enough people or supplies for a fight against Sina. 

“Seventy-five.”

“Seventy-five?” Yoongi exclaims. That’s even worse than he could have imagined. They were sent with almost a thousand. Hell, it wasn’t even supposed to be a serious battle, just to the outer city to try and gain some land.

Jimin looks a little afraid. He’s not native to Lyma, but from a kingdom in the south. Jimin doesn’t often talk of his childhood, but Yoongi assumes he came from Cytil, a city torn apart by war and inner conflict.

Jinsoul appears, then. She has her right arm in a sling and her uniform is covered in dirt. She looks thinner than when she left.

“You look like shit.”

“You really think you look any better? And you’ve been home the whole time,” Jinsoul replies, her tone teasing. Yoongi is glad she made it back. She’s a good warrior. If Yoongi is going to war, which is getting more and more likely, he’s glad it will be beside her. 

“What happened?” he asks. He doesn’t ask how she’s doing. He already knows the answer.

“We were ambushed. Sina has more defence than we thought, and they must have already known we were coming. They didn’t look like they were all from Sina though; I think they have an alliance with someone. We couldn’t figure out who. There wasn’t really time to, either. They slaughtered the majority of us within the hour,” Jinsoul scoffs, “And the king wants to start a war with the White Coast.” She shakes her head. Lyma has already lost too many men and the fighting with Sina isn’t going to end soon. They were to ready for a battle. They wanted to fight.

“You should go in there,” Yoongi says, “The king likes you more than any of us, and it will be hard to argue with the evidence in his face.”

Jinsoul nods, and suddenly Yoongi is wrapped up in an embrace. He returns it, because he, more than anyone, knows the feeling of losing your people, of losing someone you care about. 

“She’s gone then?” Yoongi whispers, not daring to pull away. Jinsoul is strong, much stronger than Yoongi. She will make it through the death of a loved one with her head held high.

Jinsoul doesn’t reply, just nods her head where it lies against Yoong’s chest. His heart aches for her.

 

“Thanks,” she says, pulling away. There are no tears on her cheeks, but there’s a redness across them that wasn’t there before. He wants to say more, that it will all be alright, but he knows it isn’t true. This is only the beginning of something that Yoongi is sure will tear all of them apart.

“Come by my place later, Hoseok said that he had something for you,” Jimin says. Hoseok always has something for someone that is hurting. 

“Of course,” Jinsoul says before bowing and entering the room. It is easy to shove away grief and fill it with labor, but it only makes it hurt more later. Jinsoul will give herself time to heal when the time is right, but that time is not now. Grief is for peace. 

Yoongi turns to Jimin. His hair has turned a sort of silver. Yoongi would have been shocked if he weren’t used to it by now. The number of witches Yoongi knew growing up wasn’t many, since they tend to stick to themselves, but now Yoongi feels as though his life is riddled with bits of magic. If only it was a little more useful in times of war.

“I have to talk to you about the upcoming events,” Jimin tells him, “Something is coming, and you need to be ready for it.” 

Jimin can see bits of the future, not things that are too far away, but when he is close to someone his tellings can be extremely accurate. Yoongi follows Jimin to his house. Jimin lives inside of the palace walls, but farther from the center. His house is shared with Hoseok, the other grounds witch. It floats, which has always been especially bizaare to Yoongi in a way he’s not sure he’ll ever be used to.

There are stepping stones that go from the ground all the way up to the deck. Jungkook had fallen in love with the house when he saw it, how he had to climb just to make it inside. If Yoongi was a little more magical or if he practiced with the amount he had, then Yoongi could make their house the same way. He doesn’t though. Yoongi knows that he’s not really meant for that sort of thing.

Jimin told him, when he first sensed the magic running through his veins, that it wasn’t meant for witchcraft like he and Hoseok did. Jimin never told him what it would be used for or what that even meant, but Yoongi is perfectly content with just lighting the candles and fireplace. 

When he enters Jimin’s home, he instantly feels himself grow calmer. There’s an air of safety inside of it, one that Yoongi really only feels when he’s curled up in his own bed. Hoseok has little lights stringing from the ceiling and the smell of lavender is heavy in Yoongi’s lungs.

The two of them take a seat at the table. Jimin moves around to gather whatever it is that he needs for the telling that is about to take place. Yoongi knows that, if it weren’t for whatever charm Jimin has over the home, he would be freaking out, but he’s not. He’s calm. He can freak out later, when he makes his way down the stone steps and into his own home, where the soothing charms are nothing more than a fairytale.

When Jimin settles, there’s a serious look in his eyes. When Yoongi had first come to the castle, Jimin didn’t often look like that. The time of war affects all of them.

The younger sets a small teacup down in front of Yoongi. He smells jasmine and maybe a hint of lemon. It doesn’t seem very magical at all.

“I thought you were supposed to be telling me my future?” Yoongi asks, confused as to why JImin would be handing him jasmine tea. The witch shrugs, mumbles something about how he thought Yoongi would enjoy it.

“You’re trying awfully hard to stay calm. What’s going on, Jimin?”

“You’re going to leave us soon,” Jimin says, not meeting Yoongi’s eyes. “To where, I don’t know. I felt it. You will be afraid out of your mind. There was something there along with you, it didn’t feel human. When you wake up, you will no longer be in the realm of men.”

They’re both silent for a while after that. Yoongi knows that the departure does not mean death, but there are few other realms that he could disappear to. 

“What about Jungkook?” Yoongi asks. Jungkook’s safety is more important than his own, and Yoongi wants to be sure that the younger is well taken care of while he is gone. 

The thought of never seeing any of them again, Jinsoul and Namjoon and Seokjin, pains him more than he cares to admit. He has lived here too long to not become attached.

“He will be fine. There are too many people who care about him here for him to be hurt. Besides, his teacher is the best killer in the kingdom. It’s highly unlikely that any serious harm would come to him.” 

“Is that for sure, or just something you’re saying in order to ease my worrying?” Yoongi retorts. Jimin will frequently mix a telling with what he believes, or thinks, will happen. Jungkook’s safety isn’t something Yoongi wants to mess around with.

“I’m not sure.”

“And the others?”

“I can’t answer that.”

\--

_Dear Princess Haseul,_

_I know that our arrangement is rather unfortunate. I am aware that you do not care for me in the way you are expected to and I must say the same. I hope you don’t take offense to that. Although we will be together in marriage, I do not expect you to be with me. I am aware of your feelings for the young warrior and I will not be the cause of your unhappiness. I hope you do not expect me to be solely with you, for I do not love you that way._

_Please know that I think you will be a wonderful queen when the time comes. I have grown up with you and I know that you will rule the kingdom much better than your father. I will not make a good king, but that doesn’t matter much. It’s not my throne to sit on._

_I have a request. I wish for you to take in my two handsmen. Only for them to stay on grounds. They will not serve directly under you and anything that they may do wrong will be my consequence to bear. They will do better within the castle walls though, and they deserve the best. The elder one, Yoongi, will be good in the coming war with Sina. Give him something to do with Namjoon and I am sure he will be useful to you._

_With care, Kim Seokjin_

\--

Yoongi is called to Namjoon’s office two days before they’re supposed to leave for battle. While he is a battle strategist, Namjoon also serves as Yoongi’s teacher. Yoongi had originally insisted to Seokjin that he didn’t need one, but as soon as Yoongi stepped foot inside of the castle grounds, he knew that Seokjin was right.

Yoongi hadn’t known how to read or write or even talk. He could speak four different languages, but the people inside of the castle spoke in a way that made them sound like they were all more important than they really were. He had felt incredibly out of place and alone, besides Jungkook. Namjoon has a calming air to him though, one that makes Yoongi feel less on edge and more like he’s just hanging out with an old friend.

It helps that they can also connect over things like battle. Yoongi has the real life experience that Namjoon doesn’t, while Namjoon has all of the technical skills that Yoongi doesn’t. They compliment each other well.

“I thought we already went through the plan for Sina” Yoongi says, sitting in the chair that Namjoon keeps next to his desk. 

“Yes, but I wanted to see you before you left.”

“What a sap.” Namjoon glares at him but there’s still a softness in his eyes. 

Yoongi knows that Namjoon called him in for a reason. He seldom calls Yoongi in without one. Usually it’s Yoongi that ventures into Namjoon’s office when Seokjin or Jungkook are busy.

“So why did you really want me to come?” Yoongi asks. Namjoon doesn’t reply right away and Yoongi doesn’t push it. In the beginning of their friendship, their conversations had been full of rough words and thorns. Now though, they balance each other out. Yoongi knows not to push, Namjoon knows not to pull. They work well together.

“If Seokjin doesn’t make it back the king is going to sentence me to death for treason.”

The words sound heavy against Namjoon’s tongue as though it pains him to say it. Yoongi is not exactly surprised by them, but there is still an anger that rises in Yoongi’s chest. The king wants to have political control. Seokjin is a good pawn, but if he dies then there’s no use for Namjoon anymore.

“Seokjin won’t die. I’m going with him,” Yoongi says. As long as he is there, the chances of Seokjin dying is slim. Yoongi is a good killer and has been in enough fights to how to carry himself. Besides, if Seokjin were to die it would mean the death of Yoongi and Jungkook as well. The only reason they are allowed to breath is because of Seokjin and Haseuls arranged marriage.

Maybe it’s selfish of Yoongi to think that way. Seokjin has done a lot for both him and Jungkook, perhaps even more for Namjoon, and still Yoongi expects him to go into a marriage he doesn’t want. Regardless, Yoongi will not let him die. He does care about Seokjin, almost as much as he cares for Jungkook.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Namjoon says, “I want you to make sure that Seokjin comes back alive.”

“Mixing personal feelings with work, Joon? That’s dangerous.” Namjoon doesn’t meet Yoongi’s eyes right away. Yoongi knows as well as anyone how hard it is to separate love from work, especially when everything intertwines like their lives do.

“I can’t lose him. Are you taking Jungkook with you?” Namjoon asks. It’s a little snarky, a little to get under Yoongi’s skin, but he doesn’t mind. Their relationship is very much a sort of push pull and if Namjoon wants the attention off of himself, Yoongi will let it slip away.

“No, he’s not good in that kind of fight,” Yoongi replies. 

Jungkook is used to high rise buildings and the shadows to hide. He’s used to one on one, maybe more on the occasion. Yoongi would be a murderer to send him out to war. He’s young, anyways. If Yoongi can keep him from seeing another horror he will. Jungkook has already seen too much.

“Is he upset about it?”

The tension from earlier has disappeared and all that’s left is genuine concern. In the beginning, Yoongi and Namjoon would have been steady arguing right now. It took many mediated conversations for them to be able to get along like this, but Yoongi is so glad that they can.

“I haven’t told him yet.” Namjoon hums in response. It’s a habit Namjoon has whenever he knows something that Yoongi doesn’t.

“You should.”

Yoongi nods in response and gets up to leave Namjoon’s study. If Namjoon knows something Yoongi doesn’t, he would rather figure out soon rather than later. He makes his way out of the castle as fast as possible and into the gardens. 

Something about Jimin’s telling has rubbed Yoongi the wrong way. The whole thing feels a little off, as if the universe has honed in on him for little other reason then to meddle. The uncertainty of the others while he’s away, the unknowingness of where he’s going, the whole thing seems too secretive. 

Maybe Jimin is keeping something from him, like Namjoon was. Maybe they all know and they’re purposely keeping Yoongi out of the loop. It's unlikely. Yoongi is probably just worrying himself for no reason. If Jimin knew something important, he would certainly tell Yoongi. They’re too close not to.

It doesn’t stop Yoongi from being worried. Jimin’s visions are usually clearer than that. He should at least be able to tell Yoongi where he disappears to, but all they know is that Yoongi will disappear for who knows how long while the kingdom collapses within itself.

“Hyung!” Jungkook exclaims from the door. He must have seen Yoongi venture around the garden bend and come out to greet him. “I made soup for dinner.”

Jungkook has always been the better cook between the two of them. The smell floods Yoongi’s nose before he even crosses the doorway into their home. He suspects that given a few years, Jungkook would be better than Yoongi at just about everything.

“It smells delicious, Kook,” Yoongi replies, taking a seat on the living room floor. They have furniture, but Yoongi has always preferred the floor. Some luxuries he’s still not used to.

They don’t talk while Jungkook prepares their dishes. The silence is mostly comfortable, but there’s something there that Yoongi can’t pinpoint. Namjoon’s words sit heavy on top of Yoongi. He hates it when Namjoon does this, vaguely give Yoongi hints as to what he should do. He needs them, because Yoongi is extremely bad at knowing when to talk to people, but he still dreads the build up to any discussion.

Jungkook brings in Yoongi’s food along with his own. The younger takes a seat down across from Yoongi on the floor before handing over yoongi’s bowl. They haven’t eaten all day. Both were in a rush this morning and had been too caught up on the war to take any sort of break for lunch. Yoongi hates this sort of busyness.

“I’m not coming with you, am I?” Jungkook says. His expression is schooled in such a way that it almost looks as though he’s not hurt. Yoongi has seen Jungkook grow up though, knows all of the youngers tells like the back of his hand.

“You don’t need to see that,” Yoongi replies. Neither of them has touched their food and the comfortable air from earlier has disappeared.

“That’s bullshit. You don’t think I’ll make it.”

“That’s not true, I think-”

“Hyung.” Jungkook’s eyes are wide and there’s a glimmer in them that rarely appears. Yoongi’s heart aches. “I know you don’t love me.”

It throws Yoongi for a loop. He thought this was about the battle, about Jungkook’s capabilities, not about feelings. Of course Yoongi loves him, Yoongi would die for Jungkook any day.

“Kook, of course-”

“Not like that. It’s not the same.”

“Stop interrupting me,” Yoongi’s voice waivers a bit. He doesn’t love Jungkook, or maybe he does, but he’s not good enough for Jungkook. He brought Jungkook into a world he doesn’t deserve, into a world of bloodshed and death and secrets. Yoongi doesn’t deserve Jungkook.

He would be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about it. Yoongi has daydreamed about a life where the two of them could be together, one where they’re both normal and Yoongi isn’t on the verge of mental collapse every other week. Even if they made it work now, even if Yoongi said yes, it wouldn’t be good for either of them.

“I do love you, Kook, more than anyone probably, but right now,” Yoongi pauses. He can’t look at Jungkook right now, his eyes are watery and if he looks at them Yoongi will give in. He has to be the strong one. “Right now is not the time for us, maybe never. I’m too messed up for you right now.”

“Hyung, no you’re not. You’re never too messed up for me. I’ve been dealing with you for over ten years now.”

“I’m not ready. I would feel too bad.” Jungkook’s eyes aren’t as watery now. Yoongi knows he’s still sad and it makes Yoongi want to wrap him in hug like he used to. When they were younger and everything was a little bit scarier, they would hold each other. Even as Jungkook outgrew Yoongi, Yoongi would still wrap up in Jungkook.

“Okay,” Jungkook says, standing up. He moves away from Yoongi, towards the door and abandoning his bowl. It sends a panic through the elder because this can’t drive them apart, that will crush him.

“This isn’t goodbye, hyung,” Jungkook adds as he opens their front door, “i just need to think for a little bit.” 

That night, Yoongi doesn’t sleep. He stays awake in their shared bed, waiting for Jungkook to crawl into bed with him. They may live on the castle grounds, but beds are expensive (maybe they can’t sleep without each other, most nights). 

Jungkook never comes. Yoongi doesn’t really expect him to, but it still hurts. Jungkook had said that this wasn’t the end, but some part of Yoongi feels like it is; that Yoongi didn’t handle it right and said all the wrong things and now their friendship is ruined. 

Something deep inside of Yoongi cracks.

\--

_Dear Hyung,_

_My mother used to tell me about a beautiful woman who waved at the ports every day, waiting for her lover to return. The woman would sleep there, some nights, and eventually the smell of the sea stuck to her hair and her clothes. Barnacles grew on her skin and shells would get stuck in her hair. My mother said that the woman waited so long, that her feet grew into the floorboards. When her lover finally returned, they didn’t recognize her and refused to believe that she was the woman they left behind._

_I know we didn’t get the chance to talk after that night. I just wanted to say that it’s okay, I don’t hate you. When you come back I’ll be right here waiting and we can read stories together and you can tell me all about all of the awful jokes Seokjin made. I can’t wait to see you again._

_Waiting,  
Jeon Jungkook_

\--

When war comes, the air changes. The wind blows heavier, like everything must slow down in order to keep any semblance of sanity with the people. 

Seokjin says that it’s the altitude change.

They left the capital a week ago and have been making their way to the border between Lyma and Sina. The king insists that the majority of their forces hit in one strong attack at Cneli, the major city situated on a river bank. The river goes from Cneli all the way to Sina’s capital. If they can manage to take Cneli, then they will have the advantage.

The only problem is that Cneli has never been invaded. It is the oldest city in the realm of men and the king is delusional if he believes that two thousand warriors can take such a city, even if the best of the best are sent.

Since Jinsoul’s first attack on Sina, tensions have been high. It can be felt throughout the whole camp. It comes up during dinner as all the high ranking warriors huddle around the fire. 

“The warriors have no moral,” Jiwoo says. She’s close with Jinsoul. She appears soft, innocent, but if the rumors are true then she is more than capable of handling herself in battle. “We won’t last ten minutes like this.”

Yoongi agrees with her. It isn’t often that he has fought in teams, but he knows that if he were to ever send Jungkook into a fight hopeless, the kid wouldn’t come back. It doesn’t matter how strong someone is, hopelessness is suicide.

A breeze cuts through the camp. Yoongi draws closer to Seokjin, if only for a bit more warmth. Seokjin doesn’t even think twice before wrapping his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders. Maybe they’re both a little lonely.

Jungkook is still in the capital. He wanted to come, but Yoongi made him stay. Jungkook has only really fought one on one, with the advantage of darkness and the cascading buildings Jungkook grew up in. He wouldn’t be useful in a battle like this. Hell, Yoongi isn’t even that good.

“So give a speech. That usually helps,” Yoongi says. He doesn’t feel as out of place speaking here, even if they’re all high ranking and born from much purer blood than his. They all have blood on their hands and when on the battlefield, Yoongi knows that everyone is equal. He doesn’t have to be afraid of some spoiled brat threatening to send him back to where he came from. Not with them.

“The people don’t care about me, they want Jinsoul.”

“They don’t give a single shit about the face and you know it,” Yoongi replies. Jiwoo looks at him with something akin to disbelief. Yoongi doesn’t care though. They all know where he comes from and how he’s even allowed to sit among them. “They want to see someone wearing your uniform,” he continues, gesturing to the clothing that all of the highest warriors wear, “fighting among them and telling them that they’re sure to win.”

When Yoongi was on the streets of Lyma, all of the street rats looked up to him. He’s as much of a killer now as he was then, but all the kids saw was someone like them making it. They saw a chance to survive. Yoongi doesn’t know much about the life of politics and royals, but he supposes that war isn’t that much different than living on the streets. During war, the playing field is just more equal; the rich can die just as much as the poor can. 

None if them say anything more for a while. There’s something about the silence before a battle, how each of them know exactly what tomorrow will bring yet know nothing all at once. There’s the sound of men drinking in the distance, the lights of Sina being seen just along the outskirts. 

Tomorrow there will be screaming and the field will be drenched in blood.

“Yoongi-chi,” Seokjin whispers, leaning down so that only Yoongi is able to hear it, “there’s extra soup in our tent.” 

Yoongi notices it as a way to get out of the dinner circle. Seokjin doesn’t really like being around the people of the castle. He claims that everything he says amongst them is written down in a catalog to use against him later. Yoongi knows it’s not true, but he often feels the same way. Even if the people are good, there’s something different about the people born into the higher class that screams untrustworthy. It’s why he spends so much time with Jimin, Hoseok, and Jungkook. None of them were born into the inner circle and they know the effects of being outside of it. 

Seokjin, despite being an heir to an extremely wealthy family, never seems to want it. He always tags along to battles like these—something about gaining political power. He would give it all up given half the chance though, Yoongi knows. He tried to, once. He attempted to pull out all funding and just move away from it all. 

“Well!” Yoongi exclaims, accompanied by a long, drawn out, and very much fake yawn. “I’m tired, better get some rest before the big day.” 

Yoongi stands up, his cloak wrapped tightly around him, and makes his way towards he and Seokjin’s shared tent. He hears Jiwoo call after him, followed by Seokjin’s laugh as he too makes his exit. 

They both laugh all the way back and continue laughing as they curl up together in the little bed that they made for themselves. Each have a bowl of soup in their hands, and Yoongi is, again, extremely grateful. The closer they get to Sina, the colder it seems to get. Yoongi’s not sure how much more he can take. 

“Do you really think we’ll lose?” Seokjin questions him. 

“Yes, I do.”

“I have to make it back. Joon will die if I don’t.”

Yoongi has only ever heard Seokjin sound so hopeless once. It was when Seokjin handed Yoongi and Jungkook over to Haseul as if they were little more than a fancy ring. Yoongi remembers being absolutely furious. That had almost been the end of their friendship.

After Yoongi moved, Seokjin had came into the assassins’ home with tears in his eyes. It was either a marriage, or Namjoon was going to be sentenced to death for treason that he didn’t commit.

Yoongi sets his bowl aside and then removes Seokjin’s bowl. The elder’s hands are shaking, so Yoongi covers them with his own.

“You won’t die. We may lose this battle, but you will survive. You will return to Namjoon.” 

The silence between them is loud, deafening. Yoongi holds on to Seokjin’s hands a little tighter.

“You’re not coming home, are you my Yoongichi?” Seokjin asks. His tone is more reserved, as though he expected this moment to come; as though Yoongi was someone he knew he would lose. Something about it makes bile raise in Yoongi’s throat. 

“I’m not going to die. We’re not going to die.” This time it’s Seokjin that squeezes their hands tighter. Seokjin yanks on Yoongi’s hands a bit in order to pull them impossibly closer.

“You’re right, my dear Yoongichi. We will return to the bastard of a king and I will make out with Namjoon right in front of him.”

They both break into laughter, falling away from each other and gasping for breath. They laugh so long and so loud that someone shouts at them to shut up, which only causes them to laugh more.

The thoughts of the battle, of Jungkook, the king, and everything else fall away. Yoongi is happy.

\--

_Dear Seokjin,_

_They say that to love is to be at constant war with the universe._

_Love, k.nj_

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @minrengiii & my amazing beta @basilbangtan! they rlly stuck w me through all of this, and im so grateful for them


End file.
